Interview

Lessons in Character From Middle School

By Antoinette Quarshie

Dean of Students, Grade 7 and Middle School English Faculty

While teaching sixth grade English at Riverdale, Antoinette Quarshie was asked to help shape what would become Riverdale’s Middle School in 2005. Two decades later as a Dean of Students, her passion for the messiness of middle school — a term she loves — to transform lives and character continues unabated.

I went to a boarding school whose motto was ‘Character Before Career.’ This impacted how I thought about schools when I first started teaching. We have to care more about the person and the person that we are always becoming. I tell my students that I am a work in progress, too. In all my interactions, I try to help them understand their story and what they deem important. 

Experiences like the assembly program build character by connecting communities. Years ago, I read a Riverdale Press article about Roscoe Brown, an original Tuskegee airman who lived in Riverdale. I introduced myself and invited him to tell his story to our students. Last year, I asked Bronx resident Stephanie Pacheco, 2024-25 National Youth Poet Laureate and the inaugural New York State Youth Poet Laureate, to perform her poetry at assembly. I continue to be in relationship with our guests and share back with students about what they’re doing, which models that we care about our students as individuals. 

Community builds character. When you show up for a group of people as your best self, it builds your character and holds you accountable. Schoolwide, we have no cellphones during the school day. We want to model face-to-face conversations, which help young people to understand that our goal is being in relationship with each other in real time. 

Having a sense of integrity is key. I associate integrity with a wholeness of being, with kindness, compassion, empathy, humility, responsibility, and honesty. As faculty, we have to show up for our students. Sometimes that means I publicly apologize for things. That’s what integrity is all about – keeping your sense of wholeness. It’s a good thing for kids to see that even as adults, we can make mistakes and that we take responsibility for those mistakes. 

Middle school is messy but there is joy. Middle school is the freedom to explore, which leads to self-discovery. If you’re not willing to get messy, you’re not going to make the mistakes and grow. This is the time when the brain is making different neural pathways because of the habits that you’re engaging in and the independence and skills you’re learning and applying. I help parents understand and embrace the messiness that’s cognitive and social.